13 Stoner Cars That Will Get You Pulled Over

If you drive a car, you’re fucked, man.

It’s not uncommon to describe people, especially stoners, with sweeping, broad generalizations. So unless you want to get pulled over, you might consider avoiding these stoner cars—the kind that (well if we’re sticking with generalizations here) will get you fucking pulled over.

If you follow this guide, you’ll find that you should avoid most cars, because chances are everyone who smokes weed and owns a car smokes weed in their whip, and that’s a recipe for being taken aside and busted at the curb.

Volkswagen Bus

Surfer stoners, or people who smoke weed and live out of cars are known to frequent these cars, so legend says. Never trust a white man with dreadlocks.

Image via templamentis/VSCO

Chevy El Camino

Traditionally cops hate these cars that are half truck, half car, with room to smoke big, fat blunts on the glorious tailgate.

Image via Autoevolution.com

Toyota Prius

Seems unlikely that an eco-friendly driver would smoke weed right? Fuck no, it doesn’t. Haven’t you seen the new 21 Jumpstreet?

Image via Breeze

Chevy Astro Van

Vans, like the older (really big) Astro, allow plenty of room to do all sorts of weird things—including, but not limited too, smoking mad herb. Avoid tinted windows unless you want to be attacked by the fuzz.

Image via TheSuperCars.org

Fiat 500

This car was made to hotbox you and your closest friend—just one though because it’s really a tiny car that is the size of a large roller skate. The police are never fooled by Fiat drivers.

Image via AutoGuide

Food Truck

Basically a rolling front for whatever the fuck you want it to be doing—including buying, selling, smoking drugs. Avoid if you want to escape jail time.

Image via darren2112/VSCO

Lowrider

Any lowrider will get you in trouble—even the most cherished, well-cared for, perfectly painted one. Basically all asshole cops associate a lowered General Motors vehicle with Cheech and Chong; so…

Image via beangod/VSCO

1979 Ford Fairmont

This was my high school car I got as a hand-me-down. It had bench seats—ample for many people to pile in and smoke lots of weed. It also maybe looked like a cop car, because for a while in the ’70s and ’80s, it was the same fucking model as one. Cops hate when you look like them.

Image via Old Car Manual Project

Toyota Supra

If this car has all the fixings that, say, a NASCAR race car would have, then it’s probably a recipe for trouble. It’s basically a cop magnet. Police believe that people who like to have fun (maybe racing) probably like to have fun (maybe with marijuana).

Image via TmarTn2

Subaru Outback

Lots of hacky sacks and sacks of weed found inside. Don’t get in this car.

Image via Kumo-Z/VSCO

Lincoln Continental

Bad things happen in these cars (uh Kennedy was shot in one), and they are so big and roomy that drivers often forget they are not in their own house. Lincoln owners often drive without pants on (for pure comfort). Who knows what else they do in those cars. (Hint, lots and lots of illegal drugs.)

Image via Best Car Mag

Toyota Solara

Listen Moms and Dads of the world; you are not fooling anyone. Statistically, this is the car most pulled over year after year—for speeding. So hide the weed, speed, and whatever else you got going on in there because you’re likely to be followed by sirens.

Image via Fast Cars. com

All-Black Cars

Dude, if you tint your windows, take off your rims, and paint your car black-on-black, it’s fine for me (and police!) to agree that you are 100 percent smoking in there.

Image via Reddit

 

Thanks to Kindland!

Crissy Van Meter is the managing editor at Nouvella Books and the founding editor of Five Quarterly. Her writing has appeared in VICE, Catapult, Guernica, Bustle, ESPN, The Hairpin, Golly, VIDA, and more. Her debut novel is forthcoming from Algonquin Books.
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